In Austin!!

Well....


here I am!



We're in Austin, doing the wedding thing. Man, oh man... this is a total riot. I'll have pictures and whatnot later, but I'm just checkin' in with you guys.


YAY!!

They love the chase

In the famous words of Lady Gaga: Boys, boys, boys.


In the trials and tribulations of my existence as a single, a taken and a somewhere in-between person, it has often been said to me, "You have to let them chase you: Guys love the chase."


I hate that.


My knee-jerk reaction is to say, "Yeah, whatever," but I know they do. I've seen them do it! They, for the most part, just don't chase me. This isn't a whiny "poor, poor me; nobody likes me" statement, I'm just not the type of girl that you chase. I'm basically just sitting here waiting for someone to walk up and say, "Hi. I like you," because if I like him, too, that will be all it will take. Insta-relationship. Which, I guess, might not be "fun," and also is partially to blame for my un-datableness.

I came to understand a long time ago that I'm not a girl you date. That's another thing people say to me. "You're not a girl guys date, you're a girl guys marry." That has started to make more sense as of late because I am able to look back on past relationships and see the potential future ones differently.

Let me explain. No, there is too much, let me sum up (YES!): There are people that say they don't like the chase... and then there's me. I am not saying that I think a guy shouldn't have to work a little (because if they don't have to work for the relationship, apparently this is evidence that they didn't really want it or that they don't appreciate it or something...), I'm just saying that the whole call, don't call, wait a suitable amount of time before returning a text, I'm going to pretend I don't really like you so you're going to have to try harder, yes means no, no means yes, bullshit is a waste of mental energy. A sample conversation:


Boy (or girl): I like you, you seem interesting. Let's date.
Girl (or boy): I agree. Let's.


How hard is that?!? Just say it. Or, alternatively:


Boy (or girl): I like you, you seem interesting. Let's date.
Girl (or boy): Well, I'm not really thinking that's a good idea.
Boy (or girl): Hm.. ok. That bites.


Though, the whole problem is that in that second scenario, if the girl shoots him down but the guy is persistent... there is a chase. And if the girl really isn't interested, the chase is still fun for her because she's getting all the attention, even if she doesn't want it from him. Conceptually, I get it. I really do, but if I'm not interested in a guy, I don't want him chasing me. Seriously! I run into that when I go out sometimes (read: it happened once). Not that guys hit on me all the time, but when they do, it's inevitably someone I have NO interest in and I basically just want them to go away, but I don't want to be mean, so it's just reaaaallly awkward. I also tend to lean toward husband shopping when I'm out. Roomie hates that term, and as I define it as simply not giving much of a chance to guys that don't scream long term potential to me, she decided it's more like husband eliminating, which is appropriate, too. Either way, I don't really meet people when we go out. But basically, if I'm already friends with someone, there is almost no chance that we will date because I get myself into the dreaded Friend Zone and can't get out (read: though it did happen once).

However, the one time that it did last longer than six months, there was no chase. He actually told me after we'd been dating for a little bit that he usually will string a girl along for a while and then maybe date her or maybe not, but he could tell that I "wasn't going to put up with that," so he didn't do it that way. I had forgotten about this until pretty recently, but it just goes to show you that the way you catch them is the way you keep them. Our relationship had lots of things, but it one thing it didn't have was stupid games.

This is what my Roomie said, and I like it:

"If you enjoy spending time with him, and he enjoys spending time with you, then just go with it and see what happens. You can't strategize and you can't force it; it will just be what it is. Sometimes, well, most of the time, it isn't unanimous. But when it is, it's amazing."



So anyhow, this whole thing was all rambly and not really directed at anything, it's just something I've been fixated on in the recent times. But I'm really, really, really, really, really excited for this weekend because my best friend evar is getting married!! I haven't ever been in a wedding before, and I'm her Maid of Honor! It's going to be a rocking good time!


So any of you single groomsmen, guests or innocent bystanders... I'm a single, optimistic Maid of Honor at my best friend in the world's wedding. Fair warning:


Look out.

Not so nice

As tends to happen, I started to write a comment back to GingerMandy and it turned into a whole blog post.

When I was first dating the ex-fiancé, we had a conversation about how mean I was am and that I needed to change myself fix it.

ex-f: When I tell people I'm dating you, they are always surprised. I never knew why until I saw the way you acted at {whatever function we were attending}. You turn into this mean, sarcastic person and that's unacceptable (He may or may not have said "unacceptable," but it was pretty close).

me: Well... yeah. That's just how I am. I've always been like that.

ex-f: No you're not. Not when it's just you and me. I've seen how you are when you're with your family or just with me, and that sarcastic, mean person isn't you (Read: It isn't what I want you to be).

me: Oh.

ex-f: I used to be like you (Did I mention that he was a bit holier than thou?), and what my {dad, minister, mother, coach (I don't remember)} told me to do was that before I said anything, I should think, "Could this possibly hurt anyone?" and if it would, or you're not sure, don't say it. Whatever it was. And you might miss out on some good comments or jabs, but it will be better in the long run.

So in the name of keeping a boyfriend, I did. Everything out of my mouth was moderated and filtered. And you know what? People liked me. It was astounding. That was the only year I was elected Band Sweetheart (That's nerdtalk for I was the popular-est that year) and that has never happened before or again. You know what else? I was totally miserable. I felt like a different person, but not in a "I'm changed! I love it!" sort of way. The following fall semester, I worked with a dear friend of mine in the band office and she fixed me. She was is smart, gorgeous and mean. I LOVED working with her because I could be myself!! I hadn't been able to voice all these nasty, horrible, mean, sarcastic, judgy and wonderful comments to anyone because I was too busy trying to not "hurt anybody."

So as I write this, I am wondering: was it better to be nice to everyone or be myself? I'm a mean and sarcastic person, and ... ha, well, I was going to say "it's usually all in fun," but that's a lie. I'm mean, and it's mean, and I am not messing around. But at the same time, is that really a way to be? I see where you're going with this, GingerSweetPie, I really do. I'm just warning you, being nice is really hard work. However, if you're willing to put in the work, it legitimately yields results. It also makes you nice. I'll still love you, MandyPants, but as a rule, nice people make me ill.

I guess that's my answer. I honestly just like mean, sarcastic people better than nice, smiley ones. Maybe it's because it's just easier to be mean, but I'd like to think it's because it takes a honed intelligence to be mean. Anyone can be nice. It takes a special kind of person to be mean and sarcastic, but still lovable. Don't take this the wrong way, but if we're friends, it's probably because you're mean. And lovable. So... kisses to you all!

TMI: Kissing and Your Number

This is a different sort of TMI, but because I think the old lady boob grab picture is awesomesauce:

***Alright, folks, you know the rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, "how many readers can I estrange THIS week??" TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else's!***





hehe... ok anywho... (Again, this is not your typical TMI; fair warning for you guys looking to read about how girls pee standing or poops that destroy industrial toilets, you ought to read those lovely ladies' blogs :) )

So I had been dating this certain boy for a little while, maybe a couple months, maybe not even that long. As newish couples often do, we were talking about past relationships and whatnot and he cheerfully asked me, "How many people have you kissed?"

"Um..." (I'm thinking, naïvely counting)

He's looking less cheerful now. "You don't know?"

I jokingly ask, "Should I count shows?" (I've been in several, and kissed a few boys by way of the stage)

"Yes. You still kissed them."

"Oh. Ok, uhh..." (Still counting. Sheesh. I wasn't expecting The Spanish Inquisition)

I finally gave him what I considered an accurate number. He gave me a giant poutfest. His number was like, 3 (counting me! Ack.) and mine was... somewhat higher...

Let's just say that throughout the relationship, my "number" as it were kept resurfacing in the most annoying ways. Usually just to remind me how sullied my past was (*gasp!* KISSING!?) since his was so sparkly clean (read: it wasn't).

NO GOOD comes of knowing the numbers of things like that. How many people you have done whatever with can just stay between you, yourself and potentially your girlfriends. The dude in your life just does not need to know. It doesn't matter if these numbers are low or high or whatever. It's just TMI for them. End of story. (See what I did there?)


Yeah, yeah, I know. There wasn't poop or boobies or weird sex related stories in my TMI, but honestly, the old lady boob grab is about as exciting and entertaining in that realm as I get. Maybe someday I'll have a really good/gross story to regale all you fine readers. And regale I shall, but only in due time. Besides, this is my very first TMI ever. Even if I did have some really juicy ones, I wouldn't lead with them. Gotta leave somewhere to go!

Duh!

Ok, confession: I have read this entry about fourteen times and I still can't decide if it's even what I want to say. This is actually the first time I feel this way about an entry of mine. Since the logical thing to do would be to take it down due to the relative uncertainty I feel about it, I'm going to leave it up. So there! Suck it, blog-o-whatever! I will post all the uncertainty I want! BOOYAH!!

*sigh*
what...?

My bestest friend

So, I may have cried a little this morning when Kate and Andrew left. She called me earlier this evening and told me that they were on their way back from a wedding, so they detoured through OKC to have breakfast/coffee/pit stop.

She and I have been BFFs (hahaha) since I was a sophomore and she was a freshman in high school. We were both in band and in choir and there was just one day at an after school rehearsal that I just decided that we were going to be friends. Apparently, that was all I had to do, because she was pretty quiet and, (obviously) I am the opposite of quiet, so it worked out. We sang together with her mother at, of all things, a cafeteria workers end of the year banquet. We sang "I'll Fly Away" but with the words "I'll Walk in May" and another song with new words that I don't remember, and this:


Tonight - Patience and Prudence


I was a bitch in high school. I can admit it. I can own up to it. And Kate was my best friend through all of it; my only true friend, really. I had other good friends, but Kate is the one I can call at any time ever ever, even if we haven't talked in months, and we'll talk for 2 hours catching up (we have done this). She and her fiancé (who is GREAT, by the way) and I just sat at IHOP for an hour talking about wedding stuff and boy stuff and just stuff stuff and man, I need to go see them. Maybe I'll get to make a trip of it, though I'm kind of running out of summer. In any case, she's one of those life friends that will be around for the duration.



Valentine's Day (we were hot stuff)



Prom (so classy)



Kate and Andrew (SO cute!)

I can't WAIT for your wedding!

RAINBOWCAKE!!!!

OK, my Alyssa Friend and I are going to make RAINBOWCAKE this evening and I am WHOA excited. Pictures forthcoming...

This is great!

So I'm going to do a short post today, because I feel like the rest of my day is too busy with sales training at Victoria's Secret (woo woo!) and paying my electric bill in the 30 minute break between THIS work and sales training to think about anything but playing on Gchat and eating my pasta I brought in for brunch (? {it's 10am. I don't know what kind of weird mealtime this is}). Anywho, I think this song is so catchy (not like Poker Face catchy, which, thanks to LiLu, I can NOT stop listening to {not sure if this is a good thing}), that I wanted to share. Also, isn't she so frickin' gorgeous? She seems to me to be one of those girls you would want to be friends with. Lots of famous people don't have that appeal, but she sure does.






Can we be friends, please?


She is the "She" portion of She & Him. Here's that catchy song I told you about:



I Thought I Saw Your Face Today - She & Him

Dayometer

(I guess that could be pronounced "day-AH-muh-ter" or "DAY-oh-ME-ter")


I just had a brilliant idea:



The Dayometer


I want one so bad. Hm... I should probably explain what it is. Ok, so it would be (as it's not even invented yet) an "-ometer" that tells the blog-o-whatever how your day is! I mean...

oh. I guess we have Twitter for that. Damn it.



I was actually kind of excited about this, but now, literally over the course of writing this post, I have realized that it is just not really a very worthwhile endeavor.

Let it be known that I had it all worked out... how it could have a needle like most "-ometers" and it would have labels like "Kickass day!" all the way on one side and "Shitty day" on the other side and emoticons for some of them and possibly indicator lights about WHY the Dayometer was where it was (like a "Check Food Intake" light on a :( day)...


...it's possible I put too much thought into things sometimes.




HOWEVER: My Dayometer just moved toward the "Kickass!" side by an amount of NOMs because my totally kickass amazing Rümmi brought me food at work!


I heart her :)

Gchat Fail.

Ok, I feel like one of two things right now (perhaps both):

1) One of those old people that pushes the buttons on their phone with one finger.

or

2) One of those needy people on social networking pages that is all, "Plz leave comments on my page so I feel looved!" (even though this is about Gchat and not about comments)


I don't know how to work Gchat, and being the most technologically savvy person in my immediate social circle, I have no guidance and I sort of feel like I'm missing out on some fun internet thing (even though it's basically just AIM).


Still, if there are any Gchat Veterans (I'm sort of looking in your direction, GingerMandy or potentially LiLu) that would be willing to take me under their wing, I would be forever thankful (or at least until the next internet thing comes along...)

Beedy Pictures!

This was SOO much fun!! Wow... Killed a couple of hours pretty efficiently, too. And mine only cost about $20 bucks. I was pretty impressed with myself. Lookie:

Dangly earrings and bracelet to match my new shoes


Clasp detail (SO cute!)


What the earrings look like on


Super fun. Will do this again for sure.

Eedy, Eedy, Beedy!

I'm sure my Alyssa friend thinks I'm a total moron because every time I talk about how we're about to go to Spiral Beadery (this cool place in town that provides you with beads and tools and stuff to make your own jewelry) and make pretties, I call it "beeeedy" with varying numbers of e's depending on how emphatic I want to be.

But I just think it's funnier (inside my own head) to say, "Let's go to Beedy!" like a partially incoherent child, than to just be a normal person and say, "It's going to be a total riot going to Spiral Beadery today to be creative and play in the beads!"

So that's this morning and then work at 1. I'll post pictures of my creations when I get to work! Yay!!



Beeeeeeeedy!!!
(see? a damn child.)





Pretty beads found here

The Essentials

This could not be more amazing



Delicious Dinner: check
Easter Candy: check
Laptops: check
Cell Phones: check


Fabulous Girlfriends: double check



Did we get our papers written? Nope.
Does that matter?


not at all