An update and some whining

Ok, as the title suggests, this is going to be an update and then some whining. So here we go:


Update:

1) I moved to San Marcos, TX! This is wonderful on SO many levels. I LOVE it here. Here being Texas. I mean, I like San Marcos just fine, but after living in Oklahoma for three years, my self just needed to be back. It was so very time.

2) I have an amazing job here! I am a sales rep for decorative plumbing, which might sound familiar. It should, er... surely I've mentioned the plumbing thing.... anyway, my new Bosslady and her family are AMAZING and I just can't say enough nice things about them and all they are doing for me in this very new to me job.

Whining:

1) I am sunburned. Ouch. I never get sunburned!! Not because I am particularly immune to it; quite the contrary (I am almost certain that I was the whitest person at the river today). I just never go outside. So... yeah. That's not fun.

2) Remember my big bunch of changes? Well.... I have pretty much failed at all of them. I gained my 20 pounds back, I sleep in until just before I need to be awake and my nails aren't pretty anymore. About the only thing left of my fabulous eating habits from the beginning of the year is that I still just drink water. That is actually kind of nice, but to be back at the old weight AND just drinking water.... oy. I hate that there is always something. You know what I mean? Now that I'm back in Texas with a killer job that I am excited about and living on my own (which is wonderful), I am eating poorly, unmotivated to lose the weight because being skinny is hard and my starter in my car may be going out. When I was skinny and eating great and had plenty of money, my roommate hated me and I didn't want to be at my apartment ever and I had all the crazy school stress. Not to mention the varied states of singleness I've been floating through since January. And I haven't sung since... my recital? Wow. I guess not. And my paper, while mostly done, is not quite finished. That thing is seriously the bane of my existence. Any volunteers to write one more paragraph for me?

...Seriously, though. Email me.

Anyway, back to the fatness thing, last time that I got on track with this eating healthy deal, I was crazy. I planned every day in a crazygirl spiral notebook (down to what I would eat and when), went to bed REALLY early, woke up REALLY early, worked out every day... so I guess I'll get back to that. Like I said, I can't really say that I was any happier when I was skinnier. I was working my ass off to be that way and not really eating the food I like- the bad for me food. I guess in the same way that one sometimes falls away from the faith and starts lovin' the sinnin' lifestyle, I need to read my Bible and pray every day to get back on track. I want to lose 40 pounds. I lost 20. I was halfway there!!! I feel like I'm continuously about 5 or 6 months away from being as skinny as I want. Feasibly, I'd be in the shape I want just in time for Christmas only to start the vicious cycle all over again. Oh well, I guess that's just the way it always goes, huh? Time to work out and then go to sleep (after a little time with my crazygirl notebook, of course).


Also... saw this- Love it.



via

Trapped.

Trapped here like rats! Small little rats with no hair and one leg! (Oh yeah. I went there.)


I am trapped. Pretty much every way a person can be trapped... well, without actually being trapped, I suppose. Ready for my, er... trappings?

My roommate hates me.
This is both okay and not okay. I have been where she is, and knowing this, there is nothing I can do to make her happy or make her hate me less. Everything I do, no matter how irrational, is going to drive her insane. Knowing this makes it slightly easier to live in my apartment. The biggest thing is that while I have felt that way before, I can't recall being rude or mean to whoever I felt that way about. It's unnecessary and petty, but I have no fight in me. Mainly because that's just not how I operate, but also just because I have been trying to alleviate stress on the situation for months and I am exhausted. She will never see or know or frankly, care, but I have done all I can do. It's time to part ways, and thankfully that will be soon.

This boyfriend thing.
I started this sentence 4 times because I don't know what to say about it. I like hanging out with the guy, I love his family and his friends and he is very good at being a boyfriend. I don't want to not have those things, but I really don't think I want to date him anymore. I know there is a relatively black and white solution, but I'm lame and he is so very good to me... I just... I have this fear that I am too picky. With each passing day/month/year (oy), I want to think that I'm waiting to not settle. Waiting so that I can have the best life I can have. Having not really found it yet, I am starting to get this gnawing feeling that I'm holding out for some Holy Grail that I will never actually find. And then I'll just be alone and not settling by myself, which isn't any good either. I don't want to settle, but I don't want to be alone forever, either, so where's that breaking point?

My apartment is a warzone.
Remember how my roommate hates me? Well, I don't like being at my apartment. It is such a hostile environment that I would rather be pretty much anywhere else. I'm probably going to put a bunch of potatoes (don't judge me; I eat them every day for lunch, anyhow) in my car and stay at one of my places of employment until bedtime. Then go home and go to sleep. I'll get my laundry and regular life stuff done on Saturdays when she's working, or possibly on Sundays when she's off and out with her friends. That baffles me... if she has friends (which she does), why doesn't she hang out at their place? I can't imagine she likes being at the apartment- but then again, I may just be projecting MY incredible sense of discomfort and hostility onto her and assuming she feels that, too. Anyway, I don't feel welcome in my own dang apartment. That is the point of this one.

I can't talk to anyone.
I know that's not totally true, but, again, who would I normally talk to about my roommate situation being awful and feeling like crap and not wanting to go home? Boyfriend. Or Twitter, or Facebook, but for various reasons, again, little Bloglette, you're basically my only refuge. Thank you, blog-o-whatever, for being here for me to spill my guts to when my head is pounding and I can't think of any other way to try to assuage the ache than to just talk about all the garbage that's bothering me.

Since roommate will move out in June sometime, I believe, hopefully my life will brighten then. I auditioned for Pensacola Opera this past weekend, and while it was a fun trip to get to see my friends, it was a not so good audition since I was still not firing on all vocal cylinders. If they're grading on potential, I might have a vague shot at getting in. I am not optimistic.


So, yeah. A good week....

I did hear this artist and I think I have a new favorite. Sort of in the vein of Hem, Alison Krauss and others. I am too lazy right now to link them.


I Wonder What is Keeping My True Love This Night - Kate Rusby

Thoughts on retail

I have worked in retail of some kind for pretty much the entirety of my "working" life. I guess it it sort of a stretch to call "courtesy clerk" at Albertson's a "retail" job, but it was still in a place that sells things, and was almost unheard of that my schedule didn't conflict with EVERYTHING, so that definitely fits the description at the most base level.

My employment history developed in such a way that I really feel that ever single job I have ever done has prepared me for the job I did after it. Let me just run this down so you have a point of reference:

Courtesy Clerk (grocery sacker) at Albertson's

Salesperson at Finishing Touch - This place was basically a Halmark on steroids; sold candles, cards, Beanie Babies, and Precious Moments and the like.

Salesperson at JC Penney - I spent about 3 months in the Men's Department and then my friend Edana (Thank God for her) helped me get into Jewelry for the remaining 2 years I worked there.

Salesperson at Gordon's Jewelers - This was a really fun job. Playing with diamonds all day and being around people in loooove... what more could you ask for? (And my co-workers were... well, I can say that they were probably no small part of why I loved this job)

Teller at Bank of America - This was a pretty decent job, too (my supervisor drove me INSANE, though). I worked commercial most often, which was the highest volume, but I liked it because you basically just had to do your job and do it quickly. There were crazy times at Christmas and whatnot where there would be anywhere from 5 to 9 cars LINED UP.

From one job to the next, I handled more money and generally catered to a different and more specialized group of people (which, I personally feel, is all part of that God having it under control thing). The thing about customer service experience is that you will get better at it the longer you do it. The best part about having had these jobs (the jewelry jobs, in particular) is that I can basically walk into any job interview and say, "I sold commission jewelry for 5 years," and they say, "When do you want to start?"

I actually get a marginal amount of satisfaction working in retail, or at very least customer service. Like when I worked at Finishing Touch, if someone came in and was like "I need a gift for someone that loves giraffes," I love being able to help that person find exactly the right kind of present and wrap it all pretty so not only will the person receiving the gift be happy, but the person buying the gift is happy and excited to give the gift. Jewelry is the same way. When I can help someone find exactly what is right for them, especially after searching for a while, and then wrapping it up in the fancy box so when the person receiving the gift opens it will just be so pretty... it really is fun. It's really weird, but I get goosebumps when I feel like I've done a good job and the customer is happy. And good customer service goosebumps are always on the backs of my legs. I know, strange, and it's the same feeling if I'm helping a 5 year old pick out a present for their daddy for Father's day or if it's a nervous dude picking out an engagement ring or if it's a lady at Victoria's Secret that is looking for a particular perfume and I found the last bottle in the back room.

And thank GOD those little things happen every now and again, because retail is really hard work, and it's usually not a whole lot of fun. However, I can definitely say that even if the job is a pain in the ass, if you're working with people you like, it makes all the difference in the world. I know, I know... sometimes you inadvertently end up staying in the store counting diamonds until midnight because none of the cases will balance and the old ladies in the store can't put stuff back where it goes and I can't count higher than 3 with you talking to me because I can't concentrate and suddenly all I can think about is countertops and now exF is calling the store AGAIN...

...

...ahem

*zzzzz* WHAT!? Ok, ok... I'm awake, it's cool.

Yeah.

So, I'm back! Yay! But I'm WHOA tired, so this will be short (hopefully, that isn't at all what he said) and sweet. Well, it will be short, anyway. I'll post a little more about my funfunfun 4th when I get to my camera (I think it's in my suitcase at home) and see if any of my pictures turned out. For now, I only have a the pictures from Joel's camera which, since we didn't take it to the top of the mountain, doesn't have any firework pictures on it.

What's that? Oh yeah. We totally watched fireworks from the top of a mountain. You guys = so jealous.

The gal that drove (her amazing Scion got such good gas mileage that my half wasn't even $50) had to be at work this morning at 6am (yikes), so we left last night from Albuquerque at about 9pm. Yes, in case you're counting, that gave us just about exactly enough time to get back as long as we didn't stop for very long. She dropped me off this morning at my apartment 10 minutes before she was supposed to be at work. I slept for 3 hours, went to a voice lesson (which was AWESOME) and I'm at work work now. I want to make a tasty casserole for dinner, but I'm very sleepy. It will all just depend on my laziness when I get finished with work.


I will definitely tell you all about of this later:

• Hallucinations on the road home


• KAH-razy dudes at the Love's just outside of Amarillo


• Mountaintop fireworks (with pictures!)


• Away We Go (HOLYMOLYSOGOOD)


• whatever else I think of when I'm not so damn sleepy

Aren't you just dying to know?! I know I am. (Hmm...) Before I go, here's a couple of pictures! Yay!





This place is like a postcard, y'all



Good weekend. :)

Until next time!

Musically sheltered

When I was growing up, my mother sheltered me, musically. I could probably say that she stifled me, somewhat, but she didn't do it on purpose. She just didn't like any music besides country, so whenever I was with her (which was basically all the time) that's all we listened to. As an anecdote to illustrate my point, I remember being in either jr. high or early high school and being all "Man! Dad, Mom said you like The Beatles? (as if The Beatles were a new and cool thing that virtually no one knew about) They're really neat sounding!" I'm pretty sure Dad just sighed resignedly and let it go. (Fun fact: The first Beatles song I really remember was "Free as a Bird")

Because of all of this, I am actually quite a fan of pre-pop country. As in, country when there was still a twang (I am from Texas, after all), but not so much that it was grating. Y'all, it was 80s/90s Country, and it was sooo good. To name a few:

Garth Brooks
Reba McEntire
George Strait
Brooks & Dunn
Vince Gil
Diamond Rio
Trisha Yearwood
John Michael Montgomery
Martina McBride
Faith Hill
Tim McGraw
Kathy Mattea
Toby Keith
Deana Carter
Trace Adkins
Terri Clark
The Judds
SheDaisy
Chely Wright
Sara Evans
The Dixie Chicks....

I could probably go on. (Ok, fine. That was way more than "a few") I also recognize that some of these are really pushing the pop country line, but I don't care. They are sooooooo good (reiterated and with more o's). Anywho, here's your little bloggy dose of 90s country:



I Cross My Heart - George Strait
This always reminds me of gymnasium dances in jr. high. *swoon*



Safe in the Arms of Love - Martina McBride
Not one of her biggest hits, but I wanted something upbeat and... really none of the really good girl songs are upbeat...


Shameless - Garth Brooks
ZOMG. best. My internet searches for random info on Mr. Brooks yielded rumors of a tour with Trisha Yearwood and/or Reba McEntire as openers. YES, PLEASE. I'd pay to see that shit, for sure.




In other news, I think I have discovered the secret to being able to wake up in the morning. I usually... like every morning (read: 11:30am)... will lay in bed and just in general not want to get up for probably an hour depending on when I have set my alarms (all 4 of them) and which one actually wakes me up. But I also usually... like pretty much every night... right before I go to bed, I'll eat something. I'm not talking a little something, either. I mean like a plateful (or 2) of pasta. I accidentally didn't do that earlier this week and ended up waking up at 6 in the morning. Go figure. So I also didn't eat a ton of carbs right before bed last night, and I was able to coherently wake up at 6:45 and remember that I had to be at work at 8. I think I will continue with this. It worked surprisingly well.



Lastly, www.whothetweet.com CONSUMED my morning in a ball of flames. Amusingly accurate and somewhat revealing flames.

One of those damn days

I feel SO whiney today. Everylittlething that happens is just irritating the CRAP out of me.

Example:

When I come into work, if there are messages on the phone, when you pick up the phone you hear *blip, blip, blip, blip* instead of the usual dial tone. There are never more than, like, 2 messages, but that *blip, blip* noise just makes me NUTS!

This is not world ending, it is just annoying. But it's also pretty much the only thing I actually DO at work: returning calls and fixing their little problems.

Ok, this needs a list-


How you can be certain that today sucks:

• Messages on the phone so there's that noise...



• The bandaid on my thumb keeps falling off. This is driving me crazy. (I gave myself what amounted to a mutant papercut... but I did it with a knife, so I guess that makes it a knife wound. Whatever. It was all for the rainbowcake.)



• I have no money to speak of, so I am checking my mailbox twice a day for my IRS refund check. Dad paid for my taxes to get filed, but my sister messed it up, so we had to file a correction or something, and it's taking FOREVER.



• The absence of the refund thing is seriously disappointing about twice a day, but it's almost as bad to have nothing in the mailbox at all, which is also usually the case.



• My fat pants fit. :'-(



• I have to sit at my work work (the office job) for the afternoon and then immediately go to Victoria's Secret (which is much harder work, actually) and stay until who knows when because since Semi-Annual Sale started yesterday, the place is going to be a wreck.



• There is no drinking water at work. I even brought a little snack. What did I bring? Salty chips. I forgot water, so no snack and I'm thirsty.



• Back to the no money thing, I have been subsisting on pasta for a while. On the surface, this looks like a great idea, as pasta is arguably my favorite food ever. This morning, I literally didn't want to eat pasta at all, ever. This is distressing.

Uugh. I have pictures to post of Rainbowcake (which was a great success, by the way), but I don't feel like it.

I am in such a funk!! I'm sorry, guys, but that's all I have for you today: a buttload of whining. This is one of those days that I want to just get through it, then go home and sit with the boy until I go to sleep (Won't get that either. That's a looong drive...)

Anyway, I'll give you a song that sounds like how my day feels. I didn't even look at the lyrics, I'm talking about the sound of it.



Everblue - Mandy Moore

Big ol' bunch of music

When I checked my Twitter this morning and I see a very (very very very) sweet tweet (hahahaha) from Pop and Ice. In response to said sweetness, I hereby dedicate this big ol' bunch of music to her. I hope you (and anyone else who reads this) will enjoy!

So, I narrowed the selection to ten, and I'm going to group them in twos that are sort of similar. (This is mainly for my own personal benefit, as things tend to get jumbled when they rattle around in my brain without any semblance of order.)

Sidenote: I am totally breaking my own "Don't post ridiculously long blog entries" rule, but I really only write this thing for my own amusement anyhow, so I'll break it today.


Group 1: Random (Pfft. I would start with a "random" group.)

These are songs that actually just didn't go with any of the other groups or with each other, but I like these songs quite a bit; "Seven Nights in Ireland" for its mood and "Amado Mio" because Pink Martini is genius and incredibly versatile.


Seven Nights in Ireland - Reckless Kelly


Amado Mio - Pink Martini



Group 2: Oren Lavie Genius Playlist

iTunes has this amazing "Genius Playlist" feature that will take a song you like and make a playlist of similar sounding songs you already have. These came off of such a playlist based on Oren Lavie's "Her Morning Elegance" (if you watch that, definitely watch it in HQ)


A Dream Within a Dream - Oren Lavie


Under the Weather - KT Tunstall



Group 3: Stuff that sounds vaguely like "Boy With A Coin"

Since I have been obsessed with that song recently, there is logically a whole group that reminds me of it. The Ryan Adams is a cover of Oasis' "Wonderwall" which has sort of a weird video, but if you've never heard the original, the cover is less impressive.


Wonderwall - Ryan Adams


Mykonos - Fleet Foxes



Group 4: Hem and Gabe Dixon

Ahhhh... two of my very favorite and just gorgeous artists. The Hem song is a bonus track, so unless you've acquired everything they've ever done, PopandIce, I don't think you will have heard it. "Further the Sky" has some superb lyrics:

The higher you reach,
The further the sky.
The more miles you walk,
The longer the road.
The steeper you climb,
The harder you stand to fall.
The stronger you get,
The heavier the load.


In a Barrel At Sea - Hem


Further the Sky - The Gabe Dixon Band



Group 5: Not Your Typical Blog Music

Ok, I am an opera singer. I have been in and around choral music and a much more classical vein of song for quite some time. While I don't particularly enjoy all of it (or even a lot of it), sometimes I just love me some classical-er sounding stuff. The King's Singers are a group of 6 men that sing all kinds of stuff from Renaissance madrigals to The Beatles. And then.... *sigh* Ian. I have gone to school with Ian for the last two years and his voice is seriously one of my very favorite voices I have ever heard. That actually is quite a statement, because I am really picky and I have heard a lot of people, but *sigh* again. I could just go on and on about his voice and how frickin' pretty it is. That song is from Civil War by Frank Wildhorn and is a letter from a soldier to his wife (lyrics here). The quality on that one isn't so good because we were giving our little recital in what was basically a cafeteria, but you can still hear the dreaminess...


You Are the New Day - King's Singers


Sarah from Civil War - Ian Gibb

*Whew!*

Dear Old Love

If you haven't heard of this site, you're really missing out. In their words:

"Dear Old Love" is short notes to people
we've loved (or at least liked).
Requited or unrequited.

The ex-husband in Grace Paley's short story
"Wants" says to his ex-wife,

"I attribute the dissolution of our marriage
to the fact that you never invited the Bertrams to dinner."

If you're bitter, that's the way
to express it here.

Actual folks submit these and they're posted anonymously.


They range from sweet and cute:
To Do
You say it would take “a lot” to get back together. Please be more specific so I can start working on that list.


Saving Face
I said I was pink-cheeked because I was hot. In fact, it was because you were.


to amusing:
No Tao
I’m not sure what to do with this giant stuffed Tigger you sent me, except perhaps dismember it and send you parts in the mail.


Bio Rhythm
I was attracted to you was because you looked like a more approachable, younger version of my super-hot biology teacher.


to heart-breaking:
No Consolation Prize
Telling me that I was the closest you’d ever gotten to marrying someone did not console me.


to kind of funny:
You Knew What I Meant
When I said we’d make no sense together, I meant we’d make an amazing couple.


So We're Even
I hate that I love you. I love that I hate you.


to nerdy:
Math
My love for you is like pi—irrational, never-ending…


to short and to the point:

News
I like you.


Just One Little Thing
Like me most, please.



I say all that, to show you this one:

Wouldn't It Be Better?
You are still, to this day, the only man who has made me physically weak just by making eye contact. It is probably a good thing we never slept together.

wow.

...and yikes.

photo via Flickr

I should probably go ahead and apologize...

...for the content of this post and how completely meaningless it is. However, it amuses me AND wastes time, which are two very valuable things to me at this moment, so without further ado, I present...


Pressing issues at work.

Today, this includes:

• Which of the alarming quantity of funny/nonchalant/emo self portraits I'm taking has the most Facebook potential


• Harassing everyone that I know is available to entertain me (Many thanks to Seester, Joel, Kelly and John)


• Deciding whether a side ponytail or a high ponytail is better


• Angling my portrait machine (ahem... computer) so the mess over my right shoulder isn't visible (not my mess, don't know where it goes to clean it up)


• Downloading a crapton of music (You're welcome, Joel)

Anyway... yeah. I don't really feel like playing WoW at this moment, and I don't want to watch a movie or TV, either. So, of course, in this situation, I present you with a song and fruits of my boreditude!

Trolley Wood - Eisley





I can't resist that stupid mosaic maker.

Disney, why have you forsaken me?

So Meg over at The Wild and Wily Ways of a Brunette Bombshell posted about classic Disney movies and her beef with their decline into pure consumerism. I started to write a comment to her, but then I realized that I basically had just written a post in her comment box, so I came over here and wrote it out instead. This is what I have to say in response:

I could not agree more!!

Not even kidding: I have been slowly amassing all of the best Disney movies, either on VHS or DVD, whatever, for when (when, when {I like to say it three times to reinforce the certainty...ahem...}) I have kids, because I can't be sure if Disney (or anyone) will ever be able to produce films of the same caliber as the animated (and some not animated) films of our childhood and before.

World's longest sentence... anyway, I submit for review some of my favorites that MY children will watch (some Disney, some not):

• Robin Hood (Animated foxes... yum)


• The Rescuers, and Rescuers Down Under


• Prince of Egypt


• Babe


• Fern Gully

The above list is, of course, in addition to these mandatory classics:

• The Little Mermaid


• Beauty and the Beast


• Aladdin


• The Lion King


• Cinderella


• Sleeping Beauty


• Mulan

Yeah, so what if basically the definition of a "Classic" is just that it has a good love story? Sue me. I digress...


Oh, Disney, we're all begging you: return to the days of yore when you had something to say other than "Buy a Hannah Montana doll!" We miss our princes, princesses, love stories, magic carpets, singing foxes, castles, good triumphing over evil, the prince getting his gal, the gal getting her prince, fantastic music with singable soundtracks, fairies...


I could go on...




Orginal painting found here