Sunday, October 17, 2010

Missing

You ever just feel like you've missed someone? In a timing way, I mean. Like... I don't know, there was maybe a person and it felt like there was something... and then...



If I Ever Feel Better - Phoenix



I realize that a 3 day business conference is not the most reliable or likely place to meet someone that you could potentially connect with on lots of levels and make you laugh and has that... that thing... but never say never, right?

Well, it is par for the course that this person- this highly intelligent, incredibly interesting person- would obviously be related to my business in such a way that it's just downright inadvisable to see where it would go. Let me just say that it has been a long damn time since I have encountered a person that I thought, "Hm... I just want to be around you and see what you're all about," and they have thoughts even approaching reciprocated.



Rabbit Heart (Raise it Up) - Florence + the Machine


And they were reciprocated! But also mutually... declined? Turned away? It wasn't even a rejection. It was a decision to be responsible* and walk away. And the thing that kills me is that no matter how correct we were to do that... Gah! I just feel like there was something there. Or at least, there sure was potential to be...


*I couldn't find an appropriate text quality (bold, italic, all caps, some combination of those) to express my incredibly sad and disappointed FURY at this word in this particular context.


kisses are a better fate
than wisdom.
-e.e. cummings

1 comments:

Rumquatronove said...

Wow,C...
I feel that
in such
single
some
same way
too;
insane.
Insomnia,
me alome,
filling all
entire
universes
of nobody else...

Despite the songs,
Loved to death
the "long damn time"
expressed,
and liked to bones
those final
"whispered words"
of yours,
I mean,
from you.

Me gone,
bye.
See ya'round,

R.