"I want magic," from Streetcar Named Desire by Andre Previn. Sung by Renee Fleming
Real! Who wants real? I know I don't want it. I want magic! Magic! Yes! That's what I want! That's what I try to give to people.
I do misrepresent things. I don't tell the truth. But I tell what ought to be the truth. What it ought to be.
Yes, magic. Magic's what I try to give to people. If that's a sin, If that is such a sin, then let me be... damned for it! Don't turn on that light!
It'll all look so ugly in that light. Why not see by candlelight... or moonlight, or by starlight? They are bright enough to see by. Sometimes too bright.
I have been busy before. When I was in school, there was time I had a 20 hour or so a week part time job, class, a recital, a paper and an opera all at the same time. I knew not what busy really was.
I have a church job that takes me away Wednesday evenings and Sunday mornings every week. The kicker is that it's about 45 minutes away. I have 2, count 'em, 2 retail jobs that insist on relative flexibility in my schedule, so making them play nice with each other is, and always will be, a pain in the ass. Those things alone were enough to kind of make me crazy. Now I just got cast in an opera (YAY)!!!
Thing is-- it's an hour away, going the OPPOSITE way from the church job. And there will be a LOT more rehearsals for that than I've had before for any other thing I've done recently. It'll be worth it, for sure, but it's going to be a nightmare trying to get all of my life scheduling to work together. And that's not even accounting for time to actually LEARN the thing. I guess that's for in the car. :P
Here's to not losing my damn mind...
Now for some shameless self promotion. This is from a recital I did a couple of weeks ago. It all went really well!
Have you ever had someone steal something from you? Even if it wasn't yours- they are holding the thing that you handed them, and then, suddenly and without warning, they literally take off running as fast as they can away from you.
It's weird.
At first, I felt totally responsible. Then, I felt not responsible for it at all! Then I worry that my delightful bosslady is going to think I'm irresponsible.
It would have been SO much more convenient for the douchbag to steal from one of the other two, very seasoned associates that I was working with at the time. It happened so fast that it would have gone the same way with them, I feel. Oh well, we'll just see what happens tomorrow morning when bosslady and I open the store.
Welp, I haven't blogged in forever, but I feel like being a whiner. This thing is better than Twitter, because I feel like practically no one reads it. This way, I can be as self-indulgent as I want and I don't even care! Yippee!
So, I feel like I am perpetually waiting for something. I have felt like that for years, really. In a short term sense, I am always waiting on the next paycheck/holiday/gig/audition/whatever to happen. In broader terms, waiting for my potential recital in January. Waiting for May. Waiting to see what will happen in a few months. Maybe nothing. Maybe everything.
Lordy. Seriously, how cliché and rambly do I sound right now?! A lot. But that's what happens when you spend every day of your life waiting for the other shoe to drop. You just try desperately to be alright with this one shoe. To know that this shoe is pretty good, it's probably your favorite shoe you've ever had. And you hope that you get to keep it and that it will all be wonderful. The thing is, when that other shoe does drops (and it will... eventually), it could be awesome. It could even be the best thing ever. It could also be the most painful and horrible thing you've ever dealt with (which is saying something).
Waiting is horrible. But, as I have been doing my whole life, I'd rather just sit here with this singular shoe and not rock the boat. Because experience has taught me (on more than one occasion) that rocking the boat gets you nowhere but exactly where you don't want to be. Tenuously clinging to this one shoe is at least half hopeful. Once you get the other one (and it's almost always as bad as you had fervently hoped it wouldn't be), then you're stuck with it.
This is the point in the waiting cycle that I just need to cram a LOT of stuff into every day so I don't think about that shoe so damn much. It's essentially impossible to do that, but I'm going to give it my best shot. I could use the money, anyhow.
With any luck, I'll get this job I interviewed for today. I haven't sold jewelry in a long time, but being in there today to interview, I actually missed it. All of the romance and love and gushiness that goes with jewelry is so good to get swept up in. More living vicariously through other people, but what are you gonna do? I am really hoping that I stayed in the jewelry selling business because I liked selling it and not for anything else.
I just didn't love her right at first. I have now revised my opinion, as she is sort of like Alanis Morissette crossed with Aretha Franklin. And let's face it-- that's pretty badass.
She is just the kind of angry girl music that I like. Mostly the kind that says exactly what happened to me (and anyone who listens to it feels that way, too). She also does some happy type songs (though, they're still kind of bitter [which I like]):
I'll Be Waiting - Adele
Sorry for the somewhat iffy quality on that last one...
Anyway, she does a sad kind, too. I just really like all of her music. The whole album. Not many artists get that particular praise from me. Worth the purchase on iTunes, for sure.
Someone Like You - Adele
I love her voice; both singing and speaking. And her fake eyelashes. And her cool hair. Here is a really interesting video talking about her meanings behind every song on the album and little snippets of all of them. Kind of a long video, but very cool.
Ok, so after months of silence, I have come here to say:
HOLY CRAP YAY I FINALLY GOT A JOB!!!
That took FOREVER. However, it's in sales- the regular, retail kind- but it's not the crappy, schedule all over the place, mall type retail. This is 8-5 retail of luxury plumbing that isn't open on Saturdays. I could not be more excited to start! I'm actually not sure when my first day will be, but it'll be within two weeks, I believe. So it CAN be done! I DID find a job! YIPPEE!!! HOooorraaayyy!!!!
p.s. It's kind of irrelevant, but I'm loving this cute turtle photo.
Also-- Rift? "We're not in Azeroth anymore." Rude. And until you come out with a Mac client, I will have none of your gorgeous graphics and interesting talent trees and classes. So there.
