Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Bearer of bad news


You ever notice that in a relationship of any kind, if there is something bothering one party, it weighs on them. Well, the problem is that when they tell the other person, that weight doesn't go away, it simply transfers from them to the other. It's as if the knowledge itself has mass. I think that sucks. I mean, there's nothing you can do to help it, but it still sucks.

Example: There is a boy and a girl and they are friends, but the girl is in love with the boy. This information weighs on her (trust me) but what good does it do to spill it to the boy? Especially if she's relatively sure he doesn't feel that way about her? Then he's just stuck dealing with it. She feels better now that she's not harboring all of these secret feelings, but he has to bear the burden of the knowledge now. So whaddya do?

Example again: There is a dating couple and one feels emotionally not okay about something in the relationship. I mean, at some point, the person has to tell the other about it. That's just what you do. But it still sucks because now the weight of the burden has shifted and while the one doing the telling feels better, sure, the receiver of information now has to feel weighted down and crappy.

Life is hard.

picture found here.


Stars Seeker A.k said...

I agree, life is hard, but we go one. Sorry if I'm too positive,I'm kind of that when I'm down and crappy as you said (and I'm sort of that right now so... yay! positive); going back to what I was saying... even tho when a person tells the other what she/he has secretly hidden and the other has now the responsability of knowing the stuff, it maybe (maaaaaybe) will come to a better end, it can be fixed; in other cases, it won't.

As I said... life is hard, difficult, crappy, everything you want... but we're still living aren't we?

M Hastings said...

Yeah... but sometimes we can do things to make the burden lighter. For instance, we talk about a behavior that bothers us, and then we talk about ways that we can see that behavior modified. Not good to force change on the other, but we can talk about how we can start looking at/approaching the behavior differently so as to minimize the problem...

And sometimes when you have a situation like in your first example, the friend mentioning the problem to the other friend and getting a yeah or nay might help friend #1 to feel resolution in the circumstance....

Tineke said...