Friday, January 8, 2010

All Will Be Well

- I have a whole blog about changing and new leaves and whatnot that I am really excited to write about but just can't write today because all of this other garbage happened. The changey-change blog will come down the pipeline next week probably (as this weekend is occupied primarily by learning Elvira in Don Giovanni before rehearsals start on Monday. EEK. -

Well, today started relatively normally, but it cascaded downward until lunchtime when I applied for a private collegiate loan to pay for this semester (since my school didn't have money for me [which baffles me, but what are you going to do]) and I was pre-denied. Not just regular denied, but pre-denied. Thanks a lot. I didn't want to finish school, anyway. So I went to the school to actually talk to some people and basically, I have no options to get help from anywhere. I will just have to pay for the semester as it happens (which will be ridiculously difficult). I am literally signed up for 1 credit hour because all I have to do is write my paper and do my recital. This whole business is WHOA frustrating.

Blech. I am sort of feeling like this:


garfield minus garfield

But I have to tell you all of that mess so I can tell you the story of right after I got in the car to go to lunch. (Warning: We're about to get a little Jesus-y)

At this point in my day, I had applied, been pre-denied, was on my way to the bank to deposit a paycheck (that is basically already gone to bills) and then go to the school to address my situation. This is one of those times that I am not really as worried as I should be about my personal impending doom. I get into the car and my CD player picks up right where it left off when I got to work. This song:

All Will Be Well - Gabe Dixon Band


All will be well.
Even after all the promises you’ve broken to yourself,
All will be well.
You can ask Me how but only time will tell.

The winter’s cold,
But the snow still lightly settles on the trees.
And a mess is still a moment I can seize until I know,
That all will be well.
Even though sometimes this is hard to tell,
And the fight is just as frustrating as hell
All will be well.

All the children walking home past the factories,
Could see the light that’s shining in My window as I write this song to you.
All the cars running fast along the interstate
Can feel the love that radiates
Illuminating what I know is true
All will be well.
Even after all the promises you’ve broken to yourself
All will be well.
You can ask Me how but only time will tell.

Keep it up and don’t give up
And chase your dreams and you will find

All in time.


Full lyrics here

It started in the middle of the song, so I only wrote down the lyrics I heard from the time I left the parking lot at work to when I turned off the car at the bank. I also added some capitalization because at that moment, it wasn't an ambiguously hopeful song for me. This was literally something God was saying to me. It sounds kind of out there and spiritual-y, but I really believe that. How else could such a perfectly worded promise audibly speak to me at exactly the moment I needed it to? I mean, the CD started at exactly the most perfect spot in the song. Say what you will about coincidence and yada yada, but that's my God. The God that lets me do incredibly stupid and irresponsible crap just so I won't do it anymore (because He totally knows just keeping me from doing it in the first place will never allow me to learn to be a big kid). The God who helps me in little ways so I can help myself in big ways. The God who sometimes says what he needs to say to me through my car CD player. My God is hilarious, clearly, and draws inspiration from any and everything (*cough cough* Transformers *cough* [He also appreciates that I am a big nerd])

That's my God, alright. He's a funny Guy, sometimes, and He's got this whole wacky (read: awful) situation (among many MANY other things) under control. So I'm just going to let Him get this one. He would, anyway, but it makes me feel better when I know I don't have to worry about it.


Anonymous said...

That's kind of how I've felt lately also. Sometimes you do have to believe that everything will be alright though. It'll all work out in the end!