Here comes emptiness crashing in

I am feeling highly whiny this morning, and there really is no venue (save this little bit o'internet) that I can whine to, so aren't you lucky? You get to read about how bummed out I feel this morning. Hey, look on the bright side, I'll probably give you a pretty/sad picture and a nice, depressing song.

You ever just have days where you feel... gross? Like, sad gross. I just cannot feel good this morning. I have weird voice issues and I can't do anything right at home to make my roommate not hate me and this new boyfriend thing is weighing on me, too and it's just... it's making me feel gross. Now I'm at the church and I really need to be working on the bulletin for Sunday, because it's going to be our first one in a new format, but I don't want to do anything but just go somewhere else with people I like that like me and just bask in the friendliness.

Sidebar- it's ironic that after I have (another) disheartening conversation with this new boyfriend, this time about his atheism versus my loving the Jesus, I want nothing but more church and I have all this ushy-gushy Jesus love and I want to sing hymns and learn about being a better Christian and yada yada, and who can't I tell about all this because it's sort of antagonizing? Oh right- the person I really should be able to talk about it with.

Alsoalso- I have talked about the stupid crap people do to each other before, but can I please just talk about for a second how it baffles me further how people can't be nice to each other? Why? Why would you be mean to another person? I am mean, I really am. And frankly, I enjoy being mean. But, if the target person is my friend, or even just someone I have to deal with on a semi-regular basis, why not be civil? No one gets any more out of the interaction when one is mean. And I am kind of a pushover, because when people I have to deal with are mean to me, I just lay down and take it, mostly. Because I don't like being mean (Again, in this particular sense), and it really messes with me when people are mean to me.

Anyhow, whine whine whine. And a song and a photo, as promised:


Another Lonely Day - Ben Harper

Sherree Chamberlain

I am forever indebted to Jason (of Eyes Made Ready fame) for sending this to his sister (Rümmi) so she could send it to me. It is so wonderfulness....

This is an artist that if you EVER get the chance to hear her, DO IT. I got her album a while back and I absolutely love it. I went to Pandora her and when I couldn't find her I was confused. After some checking, I found out that she's local, and that's why she wasn't on there. I went to this amazing show the other night with Robert Deeble, New Plains, and Sherree Chamberlain. It was the most flawless live show I have ever attended.


Birdsong - Sherree Chamberlain



Quick, running up the stairs, do you see what I see
out through the window pane, past the leaves into the trees
Birds fly, birds fly, two, three, four, five
one stays, one stays there

And my sisters laugh at him, "Do you see what he is doing?
It looks like he's talking to the branches."
"Oh come down, right now, don't dilly dally," mother's calling
"Children, it's time for supper."

But I stay up to it, I lock myself inside my bedroom
Thinking about what I was seeing.
Nobody watching, so I pressed my ear up to the glass
To see if I could hear what he was saying.

He said,
It's concrete and stone,
and this old skin's just a bag of bones,
all life is is a simple breath
blood through veins air to our heads,

We have something more than this.

Oh he is an old one with feathers falling, colors greying
Voice is tired from his song
and look in his black eyes, and your proudest stories are worth telling
I know I'll never get to hear them.

'Cause days pass, weeks pass, nights are long and days get shorter
Cold wind blows from the east
And my brothers speculate that he's lost his marbles, he's gone crazy
I heard a much different story

He said,

I lost my mother when I was much younger
to a cat with big paws and big claws.
And my daddy left me when I was a baby
for worms, and caterpillars and warmer places.

We have something more than this.

So snow falls, snow falls, fingers curling, noses icy
we all go out to fetch him
and snow falls, snow falls, a cardboard casket, kerchief on it
Now I know, I know, I know

Snow falls, snow falls, I am crying, mother's calling
I know I must go
And snow falls, snow falls, I am crying, mother's calling
I go, I go, I go

Springs comes, children play, babies born and flowers blooming
I will never forget him

Concrete and stone,
and this old skin's just a bag of bones,
all life is is a simple breath
blood through veins air to our heads,


We had something more than this.



The song sounds fantastic, but I find that the words actually make a huge difference. I just transcribed them as best as I could; it's hard to hear some of it, but you'll get the gist with what I have here, I hope. If you find any errors, please let me know! Enjoy!

Dayometer

(I guess that could be pronounced "day-AH-muh-ter" or "DAY-oh-ME-ter")


I just had a brilliant idea:



The Dayometer


I want one so bad. Hm... I should probably explain what it is. Ok, so it would be (as it's not even invented yet) an "-ometer" that tells the blog-o-whatever how your day is! I mean...

oh. I guess we have Twitter for that. Damn it.



I was actually kind of excited about this, but now, literally over the course of writing this post, I have realized that it is just not really a very worthwhile endeavor.

Let it be known that I had it all worked out... how it could have a needle like most "-ometers" and it would have labels like "Kickass day!" all the way on one side and "Shitty day" on the other side and emoticons for some of them and possibly indicator lights about WHY the Dayometer was where it was (like a "Check Food Intake" light on a :( day)...


...it's possible I put too much thought into things sometimes.




HOWEVER: My Dayometer just moved toward the "Kickass!" side by an amount of NOMs because my totally kickass amazing Rümmi brought me food at work!


I heart her :)

So I found some Bunny Ears...

And I have been cleaning in them. Rümmi didn't even notice for about 5 minutes. I'm not sure what that says about her observational skills, but that's okay. She was helping me go through my last bit of unpacking. She's aresome (not a typo). :)

I'm addicted.

Delicious. And only 10 calories.


Crystal Light
Wild Strawberry
energy drink mix

:)

Rümmi's thoughts

She told me that she's sad her boyfriend (lead singer of Eyes Made Ready fame) isn't with her in New York. She said: It sucks because I think, "ohhh! He would love this! He would so want to be here!"


And me? She said this:

And then when I go to some places to eat I think, "Oh man, Courtney would HATE this food!"


Haha! Love you, Rümmi! Have a blast in NYC!!

I don't really like coffee

So I'm not a huge advocate of Starbucks. But:


Y'all, those Strawberries and Cream Frappuccinos are SOO good...



Anyway, I'm not really in a spending money sort of life-place right now, so I won't be having any more of those for a bit (as that was the last of my gift card). Not much to report these days. Rümmi is on her way to NYC for a fabulous vacation. I will be working on competition stuff and trying to write a paper (no not that paper, a different paper) before Thursday. I'm sort of feeling like a beautiful, on purpose nap, but I don't know. I think laying in bed with music and music books. Sleeping will likely be a part of this.


I shall return...


Sleepy little girl here along with a link to to this, a super useful and succinct guide to naps! Wow!

Happy Birthday, Rümmi!!

Today, in honor of my Rümmi on the day of her birth, I present:


The Many Faces of Kari




Love you, Rümmi!!




p.s.

Isn't it amazing how
those late night
PhotoBooth sessions
come in handy?